Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Called a woman "young lady" at work earlier and haven't stopped cringing since. Is it as bad as I think?

Was serving an older woman (I'd guess she was around her 40/50s) at work today but she couldn't pay as the card machine was acting up. I called for assistance and when my work colleague came over I jokingly said "this young lady has broken my card reader". It got a laugh out of my colleague but I immediately felt a wave of regret and embarrassment at what I'd said. I pride myself on being a respectful, polite person and even though I totally meant it in a non-offensive way all I can think about since is what a condescending creep I must have come across as. I've never said anything like it before and being only 27 myself it must have sounded so weird. To top it all off another of my colleagues who I have a crush on was standing around 10 metres away, presumably she heard and was then also thinking what a condescending creep. Is it as bad as I'm feeling ? Be honest please

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  • 1 month ago

    Unless you ask the customer and your colleague directly, you can only assume what they may or may not have been thinking about your comment.  Think back to this situation, how did the customer react/respond to you?  Only you can know why this has impacted on you so deeply, so moving forward learn from this experience and be more mindful of what you say.  You cannot change what has happened but you can make a different choice next time.

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    In no way were you being condescending when you referred to your customer as  "this young lady". There's not a woman alive in her 40's/50's who would object to being referred to as "this young lady". She would find it flattering. 

    You sure as heck wouldn't have wanted to refer to her as "this old lady". . 

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Some people love empty flattery and it's usually better to err on the side of that than to offend. 

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  • 1 month ago

    If it wasn't t first yourncrush, you w9uldn t havegiven a f

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  • 1 month ago

    Honestly, I would have just assumed it was a flattering joke. I doubt she would have had any issue with it

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i dont think you said anything wrong

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  • 1 month ago

    It’s pretty bad, yes. Just as bad as when older people are called “sweetie”, “dear”, or “hon”. 

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  • 1 month ago

    well we all know how awkward it is when the machine doesn't accept you card... and you feel goofy holding up the line [all the while wondering if you got enough cash to cover it and shoot i'm so low on gas...]  It is such a bad time, throws you right off.

    " all I can think about since is what a condescending creep I must have come across as"

    you 'could' have, quite easily yes.  But...

    - the staff there and your bosses know you and know better

    - if the 'young lady' has/had a sense of humour she would've laughed

    - she might have appreciated it

    "Is it as bad as I'm feeling"

    If nobody complains, and you'd know that by now... no its not a big deal, isn't anyways.  It's like when people call me sir, ticks me off royally, i think "i'm not that old" and get choked.  They're just being polite, or trying to be, or i can fake they are... and just blow it off.

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