Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 weeks ago

Is this appropriate? ?

My son's 16 year old girlfriend is pregnant. She moved in with us when her father kicked her out a few weeks ago. It's been hard to know where to set the boundaries between her and my son. They are still so young... I am just not entirely sure what's appropriate considering the situation. They have separate bedrooms but have been sneaking into each others during the night after my husband and I have gone to bed. I'm not 'mad' about this, I am just unsure about it. They have also been incredibly touchy recently and it makes me quite uncomfortable. The other day actually she was very sick (morning sickness) and threw up all over herself because she was so unwell she needed help cleaning up and had no problem getting completely naked in front of my son and letting him clean her up & re-dress her. Obviously that would be normal for a mature couple but these two are KIDS!! 

I am happy that they are close and have a good relationship but cautious that the nature of this relationship may be beyond their years. It all just makes me quite nervous! Does anyone have any input on where they think I should set the boundaries/draw the line?

34 Answers

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  • 1 week ago

    The father should not have kicked her out. Seeing as that's his daughter in the first place. I understand that he is angry but he went too far. It's not the baby's fault. You as a mother, should have been keeping a close eye on your son. He and his girlfriend made bad decisions and it led to consequences. You might as well let them sleep in the same bed. And yes, she got undressed in front of him and ofc she had no problem getting naked in front of him. How do you think she got pregnant in the first place? They got naked in front of each other and had sex. You should speak to them about not being so touchy when they are around you. You should be talking to your son who is now a FATHER about responsibility. Because you obviously didn't before. He must know that this is real now and he must take responsibility for his actions and take care of that baby with his girlfriend. As for his girlfriend, you must talk to her as well. About how to take care of herself during her pregnancy and that she too must take responsibility for her actions. Both in equal in what actions they took and you must not put the blame on one. Both knew what they were doing. You must prepare them for motherhood and fatherhood. You should also be educating your son to continue with school so it's not hard to get a job in the future to support his girlfriend and their baby. 

  • 1 week ago

    eliminate the gf then flee to russia

  • 1 week ago

    Your son is a father.  You should be teaching him responsibility as getting married, finishing school, getting a job and supporting his FAMILY.  It is not appropriate to be living like that.

  • 1 week ago

    Yes it is, it is.

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  • 1 week ago

    So, yes she got pregnant.. things happen, doesn't mean you didn't do your job properly. Means they were kids who snuck around and ended up with consequences.. This does NOT make them adults.... They need to have boundaries and need to start to grow up... They should equally share responsibility... My parents were both teens when they had their first, she slept in the room with my mom. However during the night if she cried my dad would be up and to her before my mom had a chance... But if you don't set the boundaries now, they will get used to it and take advantage. All that does is raises the chances of this happening all over again... As far as him helping her... I think if it's something as in needing help or getting cleaned up ok. Not like she's walking around half naked all the time for his enjoyment... Obviously they have done it, and are practically guaranteed to do it again, doesn't mean you just let them... Share with them safe practices and encourage them to hold off 

  • 1 week ago

    Sis, you sound like a phenomenal mother.  However, your son made a mistake and he needs to take responsibility.  If he is old enough to not practice safe sex and get a girl pregnant, he should be old enough to understand that there must be boundaries while living under his parents' roof.  If he finds a problem with this and decides to keep this baby as his own, he needs to act as an adult with a child would and move out so that he can provide for this girl that he clearly likes enough to clean the vomit off of her and provide for the child as well.  xoxo hope things work out for u lov

  • 2 weeks ago

    You might as well go ahead and let them sleep in the same bed and have sex. How old is your son?

  • David
    Lv 6
    2 weeks ago

    Aren't you putting the cart before the horse?  The worst-case scenario of these two kids interacting is, she might get pregnant.  Seeing that she's already pregnant...

    You are accomplishing NOTHING by setting boundaries.  In fact, it is not in YOUR best interest to do so.  She needs somebody to take care of her now.  If you don't have an adult female in the house who is willing and DEDICATED  to handling that responsibility 24 hours a day, then...

    Might as well let your son look after her.  Meaning, they really should be sleeping in the same room, not just with your permission, but with your mandate...

    Not to mention, which bedroom is the baby going to sleep in?  It would send the exact WRONG message to your son if the baby sleeps in the girlfriend's room and your son is sleeping in a different room.  That would mean 100% of the responsibility for caring for the baby is on the girlfriend.  Is that the lesson you want to teach your son?

    So they need to sleep in the same room after baby is born.  It makes ZERO sense for you to say that they can't sleep in the same room UNTIL the baby is born...

    • SCATTY c
      Lv 5
      1 week agoReport

      She needs somebody to take care of her now. … she already has someone  taking care of her - the person making this post, who has taken her in and is putting a roof over her head, feeding her etc.. AND she doesn't even know if the baby is her son's

  • Nothing personal, then fact that a 16 year boy got a girl pregnant means you didn't watch your son properly. I don't know why her father kicked her to the curb but the fact that you allow your son to have sex with her in your house is very telling about you.

    Both of them need to grow up, get jobs and support the baby. 

  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

    First, id her father pressing charges for statutory rape?  Does your son have a lawyer?  There are legal issues involved with a minor being pregnant and living with you.  You need to consult a lawyer.  By allowing them to sleep together you're looking at even more criminal charges.

    • Funnelweb
      Lv 7
      1 week agoReport

      Not all jurisdictions have "close in age" exceptions or defences. So in some states they COULD be prosecuted.

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