Lv 4
steph asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 year ago

When thinking of breaking up with someone how can you tell the difference between regret and guilt? ?

I often think I need time on my own before I get married and have a family to be myself and see who I am without my partner because we got together so young. I tried to end things in the past and he has begged me to stay and I’ve always said ok I’ll give it another shot and things get better but I still have this feeling of what if. But when I think about doing it I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach. How can I tell if that’s guilt because I know how upset he will be or if it’s my way of subconsciously telling myself I’m making a big mistake 

4 Answers

  • 1 year ago
    Favourite answer

    I hear what you're saying. If you've tried to end things before and you say that 'things get better' to know they won't stay better after you're married.

    If you're not committed now and feel guilty, how will you feel when you've made commitment vows and you want to break'll feel resentment.

    Consider leaving him for a certain amount of time.

    Just remember that he will have the same freedom. Can your relationship survive 'a fling'? Can you accept losing him as a future mate?

    Is it a risk worth taking?...difficult choice.

  • 1 year ago

    stop thinking about how he will fell and what he will say. if you think about what you want and have a proper think, you will know what it is that you want at the end of it. if your unhappy its time to call it quits, you cant fully invest in a relationship while unhappy be true to yourself.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    When the ONLY reason you are staying is because of HOW HE FEELS - then you are feeling GUILT.

    Honestly, based on your answer - you are not ready for a long term relationship at this time and it is not fair to you or him to continue.  You might have feelings for him but your feelings for him don't sound strong enough to keep your relationship stable when you will always wonder what life would be if you had taken a different path and made different choices.

    What do you see for yourself in five years - ten years - If you can't immediately say that you see yourself married to this guy and having a family with him - then you are staying out of guilt.  

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    You can't, no one ever truly knows. If you have this nagging feeling of wanting more, seeing more, wanting to be on your own to discover who you are. That will not go away. It may short term, you may be able to bury it, but it will come back down the road. Once marriage and babies come along you could feel trapped. That does not bode for long time happiness.

    I have seen both sides work out, those who left to discover themselves who came back. Those who left, realized they screwed up, but it was too late to go back, they messed up and regret it. Those that have left and discovered a whole new world, never went back. Were better off for it.

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