What does it mean when a guy leaves his stuff at your apartment?

When he had his own place, or when he was staying on campus, and he cleaned up, he'd put all my stuff in a small pile and say "here...here's your crap." "Don't forget your crap" or something. Very territorial, I guess.

But when I'm cleaning up my apartment, and I find a pile of his stuff lying around (and he's always had a habit of leaving his dirty boxers/undershirts/whatever else around) I'd fold/pile it up and say: "Here, I found some of your stuff, if you want to take it with you."

And he says to me: "No, you can hold on to that for awhile."

It bothered me, because any little thing I left at his place he'd make a point of telling me to "take my crap," but I can't get him to take his stuff out of my apartment! And now I'm cleaning up, and I have this random pile of his clothes just sitting there! Honestly, I wouldn't mind, but if it's such a big deal for me to not leave anything at his place, I don't see why he keeps leaving his all over mine!

What do you think?

12 Answers

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  • Favourite answer

    It means he wants to lay some claim to your territory, but he doesn't want you to have any in his. He wants others to see that you have a man in your life, but he doesn't want any evidence that there is a female in his.

  • 1 decade ago

    Maybe he is hoping that you will clean his dirty laundry etc.

    In my experience, guys can leave things and it doesn't mean he is so comfortable with you that he likes having some of his stuff there. I had a boyfriend once, I did all the laundry he had left there, washed it, ironed it etc and then one week later he was gone - without any explanation!

    I have had boyfriends who didn't leave anything, ever, who I had good relationships with and understood exactly why it had ended.

    My honest advice is, he has double standards. Especially the term he uses for your stuff when he finds it at his. How would he feel if you called his stuff that?

    Are there any other problems in the relationship or is this an expression of what the relationship is really like? Only you can answer that, but if he's getting more out of it than you, give him the boot. Some lucky guy will appreciate you fully!

  • NA
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    My boyfriend leaves his crap all over my room!! I'm constantly cleaning up after him!!

    But at the same time, when I go over his house I always forget something! But its not a big deal to him.

    If it was a big deal for me to leave something there, the first thing that would pop into my mind is that he might have another girl in his room, and he doesnt want her saying "whats this stuff?"....

    That might not be the case, and I dont mean to make you panic...but thats what would pop into my paranoied mind lol.

    You should ask him. be like..."why is it okay for you to leave a bunch of stuff here, but if I accidently forget something at your place you get angry?"...

    Is his place small? Maybe if your place is bigger he doesnt feel so bad about keeping stuff there.... if his place is small and he has a lot of stuff, maybe he just doesnt want to have more clutter.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think I would tell him to take his "pile of crap" home with him, the same as he did for you. I might not put it so bluntly, but I certainly wouldn't store his things for him until he felt like taking it home. Next time, don't say "if you want to take it with you." Instead, say "Here are your things, take them home with you, I don't want them left here."

    But this is just me. If you really don't mind his stuff being there, then so be it. But personally, if he treated me and my things the way he treated you and yours (so disrespectfully), I would certainly not want his things left at my place, nor would I let them sit there gathering dust. I'd stick them in a bag and when he leaves hand it to him saying, here's your stuff.

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  • 1 decade ago

    After reading this, I can't help but think he is hiding something like maybe having another girl over and he does not want her to see your stuff. I was also thinking maybe his parents tend to stop by and he does not want his parents to know that he has girls sleeping over.. Some guys want to look innocent in front of their parents. :) I also read the others' comments, it could be just him being territorial. I would definitely speak to your boyfriend about this and hopefully he will give you a good explanation. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    I think you probably went too far with a guy who is too uncommitted and too unprepared to be in a serious relationship.

    You might want to try finding out these things about the next guy you date BEFORE you sleep with him and he leaves his dirty boxer shorts at your apartment.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds to me like he wants you to do his laundry.

    Put all of his clothes in a bag and hand them to him next time you see him.

    Uh, this is telling you volumes about him. Anything of yours is "crap" -- but he expects you to wash his dirty underwear.

  • 1 decade ago

    Put it all in a box and haul it to the local Salvation Army. Apparently he doesn't care about his clothes. You need all that out of your way anyways.

  • AbFab
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Dogs on fire hydrants, apes pounding their chests. polygamy...definately a control and territorial thing.

    Put your foot down and tell him to take his stuff with

    him when he leaves or marry you and then he can

    keep it there. That ought to do it!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It sounds like he's a real jerk!! I'm sorry. Why are you even putting up with his "crap"?

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