ASPERGERS what do you think?

I have Aspergers and felt quite sad when a close friend said to me, it must be hard having a mental disorder.

I also realized that this seems to be the place people place and ask questions about Aspergers, under Mental Disorder (hence I have).

But I believe Our 'symptoms' are in fact ourselves, not some unfortunate illness we suffer. We are unique individuals which the so-called 'normal' world underestimate and even despise, but often do not try to understand. We have been made to believe in a stereotype of 'normality' for our children, and to panic, fear and react when our offspring don't achieve. Far to often its the associated conditions we need help with, but the NT's continue to blame our Autism Spectrum Disorders for everything!

Maybe we need to stop trying to get our children to conform and let them be who they are, stop trying to change them and educate society that there is in fact a whole group of people who are just different...


20 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    What a fantastic question!!!

    I have a 14 Aspie son and I couldn't be more proud of him. I am very familiar with the quirks that he has, and I think of him as a whole package who would not be who he is if Asperger's wasn't a part of his whole being.

    I hope that society will become more familiar with the personality characteristics that are common to Aspies, how hard they work to know how they fit in to a world that is just a bit different from how they are.

    My son is very fortunate that we live near Orion Academy in Moraga, California, which I am told is the only Asperger's /NLD high school in the country. I am hoping that it is not actually the only one, because there are lots o kids who might benefit from being at a high school that specializes in the unique areas of help that Aspie's and NLD teens need.

    Trying to change Aspies is not the thing to do. Changing how people view them would be a step in the right direction.

    How do I feel about Asperger's Syndrome? It is a fact of life, it means that that is that person's package, and it is just another way many people are.

    I love my son with all my heart, and I couldn't love him more if he were not an Aspie.

  • 1 decade ago

    You don't have a mental disorder. You might want to educate your friend on Asperger's.

    In thinking about the rest of your paragraph, it seems that you have some misconceptions about how people view people with Asperger's. Almost all of the teachers I know really appreciate their diversity and uniqueness.

    I think you need to separate ignorance and dislike. Most people have not the foggiest notion of what Asperger's is all about. They therefore make some assumptions, like your friend does. My suggestion is that you download some material either from the CARD (Center for Autism and Related Disorders) or Autism Speaks. Then you can give this to people who are curious or who misunderstand you.

    We DO need to stop trying to push kids into molds that are the wrong shape for their personalities. Asperger's people are not the only ones who have trouble blending in. I was a Tomboy growing up and I was criticized constantly. However, it was who I was. I remember pounding my head on the kitchen floor when my mother told me I HAD to wear a dress. I couldn't see how being in a dress would help me climb a tree.

    And then there is reality. Society does allow diversity to a certain point and past that point, people have trouble making friends and getting jobs. I have a friend with Asperger's who is a teacher. I just love her because she is so unique, but I am a special ed teacher. She has a tendency to get obsessed with a certain kid's behavior and can't talk about anything else until the next kid! She drives other people nuts with this. I can't mention anything to her because I am not supposed to know about the Asperger's.

    So, social training for Asperger's kids is important so that they can fake out teachers, other kids and employers. The other reason is that many Asperger's kids have social anxiety because they can't easily interpret the social requirements at a given activity or place. I have had many kids who are very grateful when we practice for a dance or something similar before they go.

    Again, there are many kids that also need help with social behaviors that are not Asperger's! I am thinking of children with behavior disorders or emotional issues. If they aren't taught social behaviors, they will end up unemployed or in jail. I'm not saying that Asperger's kids will end up in jail, but they may be underemployed without training.

    I suggest you read Dr. Temple Grandin's books, "Thinking in Pictures" and "Animals in Translation." Though she is high functioning autistic, she has some social issues that she discusses in the books. They are a fascinating look within her mind and it will help you understand yourself better also.

    Source(s): Teacher
  • 777
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Hi--If you think it is just a "part of life," then it must not bother you that much. I am fortunate not to have Aspergers Syndrome, but I have severe social anxiety & depression. No matter what people say Asperger's syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects a child's ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others. Children with Asperger's syndrome typically exhibit social awkwardness and an all-absorbing interest in specific topics.

    Doctors group Asperger's syndrome with four other conditions that are called autistic spectrum disorders or pervasive developmental disorders. These disorders all involve problems with social skills and communication. Asperger's syndrome is generally thought to be at the milder end of this spectrum.

    Conservative estimates indicate that two out of every 10,000 children have Asperger's, and boys are three to four times as likely as girls to have the disorder. While there is no cure for Asperger's syndrome, treatment can help children learn how to interact more successfully with their peers.

    If It wasn't an illness, then it wouldnt be on millions of mental health websites!!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    People with Aspergers are different then others, and at the same time you are so right because society makes too much of a deal about conformity, and conformity does not allow you to be yourself. So how is it that autistic people are expected to be just like everyone else when they are meant to stand out, and be different. Thus you are so right, and being yourself is a challenge everyday but continue to be the beautiful person you are inside, and out.

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  • 1 decade ago

    As a person whom also lives with this thing called Asperger Syndrome I've been advised to look at this as a condition as opposed to a disease, like Chicken Pox or Measles which one would eventually get over and recover from. Asperger Syndrome is a life long condition that a person like myself, or yourself, would have to adapt to and live with. How well one can adapt and live with this thing is solely up to the individual.

  • 1 decade ago

    We are who we are and so be it. There are different levels of Aspergers and you do not from your writing appear to be greatly debilitated. Be who you are and hold up your head. From my point of view we are ALL off. The line of NORMAL is just a line and we all fall on one side or another.. some closer to the line and some further away. As for people with Aspergers disease... one of the most interesting doctors at work was diagnosed with a mild case of that and to me he was just a delight to spend time with.

  • 6 years ago

    As an individual with Higher functioning Autism and a mother of two children on the spectrum, I think it's society that is backasswards. It's not that we can't lie or learn some form of functional social nuance, but why should we learn to be something so contrary to our nature? It's just that NTs value relationships and the validation of their feelings and for someone on the spectrum, we strive for knowledge and truth and value objects, concepts and logic over everything. It's just that the world can and do take this as an opportunity to use us and think we are naive or stupid and we see them living ruled by their emotional whims with the same reaction. This person is crying over her god-knows-what-number-this-is's failed two month relationship, they're naive and stupid. Both ways of viewing life are valid, but the Spectrum viewpoint is the minority within society, so society makes us feel as though this is deficient and has to be conformed to the majorities' mindset, when we should be making everyone feel validated without biases aside from those who harm others like pedophilia, and accept that we all have a little bit of both emotional and logical tendencies and both need to be able to coexist within society through awareness and education on both sides. Kind of like the mixtures here in the Southwest with Mexican and American cultural norms are both seen as normal.

  • 1 decade ago

    My brother does have a hard time of it because of his Aspergers - he doesn't dress properly and his personal hygiene is an interesting subject all of its own. He has to be told when to wash and he is 44! So, its only open-minded people who are friendly to him. People who don't know him think he is an alcoholic or druggie or just weird. All in all though, he is one of the kindest, funniest people I know and if he was in charge of the world, it would be a much better place! Normalisation through mainstream schooling always has the drawback of missing the best as they are hovering about in the wings...all we get is mediocre people. The higher minded people get left out in the cold. The peer pressure to ostracize people like my brother is there as a social control so that the sheep can run together. Its interesting to note that despite years of 'improving' education e.g. sex education, social education, people are still really ignorant!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I agree with you 100%, do you know how many people have aspergers and don't even know it? I'm finding people in my own family that have it, and don't have a clue. They are just considered different.

    I believe that one day, aspergers and other "mental disorder's" as they say...will be considered normal. As more and more people will eventually understand that everyone is unique in their own way, disorder or not!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Unfortunatly Aspergers is misunderstood and if people actually took the time to work with the children who have aspergers they would realize they are more intellegent than normal children. I had a child who is 10 explain to me what the center of gravity is and how he used it when trying to stand and swing I was blown away. Aspergers is the highest level of autism. Asperger people tend to become experts on things that interest them and often on their disease. I don't agree with stereotyping children or adults who have learning disabilities but a lot of teachers do. For example a child who is emotionaly disturbed sometimes a teacher will allow them to do what ever they want to avoid conflict with the child instead of holding them to the classroom standards they are supposed to be teaching them. I have also heard teachers say special ed. kids can't do things the other students can. I say BS it is called modification and they can. I proved it when a teacher I was an aid for was out for 2 months no lesson plans etc... So I had her 12 functional academics students do a research paper for Science on Nocturnal animals. I went to the library and pulled the books, got poster board and had a paper for them to answer questions. She told me they couldn't do it. Not only did they do it answered all questions drew pictures of the animal they were assigned and then presented their animal to the class. I had them work in groups of 3. When I showed up at her house with their work and grades for her to enter for their effort and presentation grades she cried. I work for a Middle School with our special kids everyday and am going to college to become a teacher. I think a lot of the kids problem is they are held back. It is so easy for them to say I can't that they have not been taught to try then their are some who have higher standards for themselves and when they miss 3 questions on a test freak out. People can only do what you allow them to do and if no one challenges them then they will not challenge themselves and I believe this goes for ever disability.

    Source(s): me
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