Why won't my fiance sleep with me?

Question

I have been with my fiance for over 3 years now, he proposed to me at new yeears. We haven't slept together for over 6 months, (bar 2 or 3 times when I have questioned our lack of sex life,) and it is ruining our relationship. When I am repeatedly rejected my the man that I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with, it seriously knocks my confidence. I feel undesirable, unsexy, and borderline repulsive. We used to have sex, at least 3 times a week, for the first 2 and a half years, we had a strong relationship, we were the couple people were jealous of. But now I find myself fighting my tears on a daily basis, wondering wether our relationship can be saved. As a result of this I am having severe mood swings, I often dress up to got places, even just going to the shop to get some milk, in the hope that I will get some attention from somebody. I am behaving like a confused teenager and I hate it, it is not me. I have always been faithful and never even considered going with anyone else, but the way I have been recently, I don't know if I trust myself not to cheat if somebody gives me the attention i'm not getting at home, i'm just such a mess.
I have spoken to him about it several times, I have approached it cautiously, explaining how it is making me feel. The most he has ever told me is that he does love me and he does fancy me and find me sexually attractive, and that he just doesn't know why he doesn't want to sleep with me.
I don't believe that he is gay, as he is regularly comments on women, no different to the way he used to. I also trust him completely, I do not believe that he could be having an affair.
When I confronted him, I asked him if he still loves me the way he used to, and the way that I love him, and he says that he does. I am completely out of ideas. Something needs to be done though because I cannot carry on like this.
All advice welcome as I am stumped.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

I would seriously reconsider marriage to him. If he is like this now, how will it be if you marry him? He is not being 100% truthful with you saying he doesn't know why he doesn't want to sleep with you. Before this goes much further, he needs to come clean about his reasons!

Answer 2

hey hey hey! calm down!
deep breath! xx
now
have you ever thought he could be saving something for the big night?
because he values you to much?
talk to him again see where it gets you xxx
xxx good luck huni xx

Answer 3

he is gay.

Answer 4

yes

Answer 5

the fact that he really doesn't tell you why he is rejecting you cclearlybvindicatesto me:
..1 He does not love you romantically
2. He could have major clinical depression'

3. He could be gay and hiding it.

4. Any ccombinationof the above

Jettison this engagement iimmediacy He is looking for a good way out of this and wants to tTellhis friends that YOU were the one who broke it off, so he ddoesn'tt need to take rresponsibility It is long over. Out of there.

Answer 6

You have to break it up right away. This relationship brings you more pain then happiness. Holding back intimacy is cruel. One of these days you will meet an attractive man and you won't be able to say no, then you're gonna hate yourself for betraying your fiancé, so before it comes down to that (because you're only human) end this relationship! You deserve a man that will worship your mind and body!

If you stay in this relationship your love will turn into hate.

Answer 7

think about this:
is there extra stress in he's life?
anything - even something tiny will really kill the mood.

a friend of mine has been married for 2 years now and they haven't had sex in 6 months because he is to tired and would rather just jerk one out then pulling all the extra energy into having sex

also: how do you have sex now, does he do all the work and you just lay there? If you are doing the same thing over and over and over again it's not worth it to him to have sex. try something new - more important try being on top .